The day after......

It's the day after Christmas. Yesterday we woke up early opened all the gifts got dressed and where out the door on the way to my sister in laws house. We did brunch their and more gifts then onto my father in laws house for yet again more gifts and dinner the. Relaxed and home. It was a very long day. I even got a nap in but that doesn't seem to have helped much. I was on Dramamine all day yesterday and I'm still needin it today. Oh how I'm tired of taking pills. My Christmas gift of a diagnosis did not come through. :(. I really really just wanna feel better. Three days ago my sister told me to just get over my health problems. How do I do that? How do I get over these neurological problems. Easy right. Lol. Ya right. I will never be the same. And she thinks it's easy to do. I try my hardest and do a great job at not letting MS run my life but something's just can't happen anymore. Oh well I guess. My Christmas was great. I got the open heart necklace i had been wanting. I also got some books and a nice comfy blanket. We got a pizza stone, picture frame, cash and a new clock. Not to bad. We had a blast. George got spoiled but what's new their. Im honestly just happy it's over. It was a lot on me and I just need some rest. I have barely moved from the couch and as I type I'm getting ready to take some more pills. Hope everyone else had a great Christmas! Now to rest and do it all next year!

Insomnia how I hate you!

So it's 2am and what am I doing. Watching another movie alone. I watched soul surfer and now I'm onto change it up! I've wrapped Christmas presents and am now thinking of cleaning the house. Obviously this is odd behavior for someone at 2 am. Two weeks ago I couldn't get enough sleep and now I can't fall asleep at all! Ive been going to bed at around 4 am and back up at 8am. Theirs nothing todo at this odd hour and I miss sleeping with my husband! I'm so sick of this. I can't take sleep aids as I become addicted to them and I could try melatonin but in the past it hasn't helped. I'm hoping this insomnia passes soon because I really miss sleep. Christmas is coming and all I can say is Santa all I want is a diagnosis. I've yet to hear the results of my MRI which worries me. It's gonna be one of two things. 90% chance of MS and that little 10% chance that it's not worries me. I mean that means more tests and who knows what's wrong. Well that's my rant. I'm gonna watch my movie. Sleep good everyone. Wish I could join you!

Dizzyness

Here it is almost 1130pm. I've had a long day. Got a lot of house worn done and worked some more on Christmas lights outside and laundry. Roberts been at his dads hunting so it's been me and George all day. It's been a good day just long. So here I am thinking about going to bed and long behold it hits me. Sudden dizziness. The best way to describe it is the tipsy feeling when you've had a lil to much to drink but your not drunk. Everytime I close my eyes I wanna vomit. And so ya sleep is a long ways off. I was hoping it would pass quickly but it's gettig worse. So I sucked it up and toon Dramamine. It usually helps quickly but makes me feel very anti social which I hate. The lovely ups and downs I go through. I can focus on things close up and not be to bad. Def still dizzy bit anything more than a foot or two away ya it rocks bad and makes me sick. I've went almost a week this time between bad episodes like this. I'm just happy it hit after George went to bed. Nothing sucks more than having to keep up with a 4 yr old when your this dizzy. My neuro has upped my meds for my nerves in my feet from 100mg 3 times a day to 300mg 3 times a day. So tripled. But it's helping. Most times I still can't feel cold on the bottom of my feet but I can feel pressure better which is making walking much easier. Well now that I've vented about this god for saken dizziness I'm gonna lay down (eyes opennof corse) and pray the meds kick in fast!

MRI

So this morning I had my lovely MRI. For those of you who have never had the pleasure of an MRI let me try to explain it to you. First you lay down in your back and have a shield placed over your head then your sucked up at about a 30degree tilt into a machine where you can't even lay your arms flat because the tube is their. When you open your eyes theirs about 6inches between you and the machine. Then it begins. It's loud think about the noise level you hear when a jet flys low over you and then banging knock knock knock fast! You start to wonder is this normal then the shaking vigorously you feel it all then quiet and you think it's over.... Then the process begins again then your slide out and injected with something and put back in the machine and the cycle begins again! This whole process for me atleast took 45mins. I have started to get used to it. But the first cycle. The shaking got me freaked for a minute then I calmed down and was ok. I honestly almost feel asleep. During my MRI six months ago I did fall asleep. I am sure this won't be my last MRI. I also received my MRI on disk from six months ago! It will be in the mail tomorrow to my new dr and he will then look at both MRIs and then call me to discuss them so looks like I won't have to wait till feb to hear about it! I was also told I could take more of my nerve meds if need be. I currently take 100mg 3 times a day but I can't take up to 18 pills a day so now I'm gonna take 200mg 3 times a day and see if it's any better. The meds help some. They take the edge off but after 3 hours it's just as bad as ever so hopefully since I can't take a lot more I can see what works best for me. So this is my blog update. I guess my next update will be when I hear what my new MRI shows Oh and since I started trying to walk and lose wright I've lost 6lbs! Go me!

Neurologist update

Well I went to my new neurologist. He was referred to me by someone who has ms. Let me say this dr was great. He answered all my questions and Roberts. He was very thourou with my exam. I had a lot of test done and some interesting findings. My walk is def off. As the dr put it it seems like I'm walking in slippers and can't get my footing. He did some reflex tests and discovered my whole left side is hyper sensitive which is odd ad of course my vision is a problem an my eyes where a little off. My left eye doesn't diailate as fast as my right when exposed to bright light nor expand as fast when the light is removed. So it seems the disease is taking over my left side and affecting it. He said he wants some more proof before diagnosing me just because my symptoms are not major but says he's def thinking ms. I go for another MRI this month and meet again in feburary to discuss everything. I also have started a drug to help with my feet. Maybe it's me being optimistic but I think it's working. The drug was originally used for epileptics but they have recently discovered it helps with pain due to nerve issues ands a common drug for people with ms. So that's my update for now. Just waiting longer! Hopefully come feburary we have some more answers. Just sucks waiting so long maybe with any luck my dr will get my MRI results and have me come in sooner. Wishful thinking!

Starting the path to a new me!

So over the year I've def let myself go. I am currently 100lbs heavier then I was on my wedding day. I am 40lbs heavier then I was the day I delivered my son. I let myself get to this point. I started enjoying food a little, ok a lot! I stopped running and just figured being a mom would keep me in shape. Boy was I wrong! For the last two years I've seen this but I haven't wanted to do the work to get my shape back. First because heck it's hard work and second off it's hard to do when you have a lil one around. I could sit here and give you all my excuses but that's all they are. I need to put my health and weight at a priority to things. I don't wanna be the mom who can play with their kid. Yesterday while looking through wedding photos I saw a pic of me getting ready an I'm wearing on of my husbands shirts and a pair of size 3 bitty shorts. I had to tuck the front of the shirt in so you could tell I had shorts on. I still occasional steal that shirt of his but now it fits like a regular shirt! I can't believe how far I've gone. So today I got back on the treadmill, which I recently got. I walked for 42 mins. I made it 1.56 miles and burned 224 calories. May not seem like a lot to some of you but to me it's amazing! I didn't get this size overnight so it's gonna take time to get back to where I want to be which is 130lbs. Due to the ms I have a harder time working out. Being on my feet hurts so walking so far without dying was a giant accomplishment because my feet could handle it. My hope is to get on the treadmill every day and hopefully stay at the same pace as the day before and hopefully in a week or so be able to improve how much I can do but for now I'm thrilled with my progress. One day I will fit my husbands shirt like I did on my wedding day!

The Beginning

Well I guess all great stories have a beginning so that's where I will start. My name is Kendra. I am 23 years old married to an amazing man, Robert and mother to a darling boy, George. My husband is in the navy and that's the important parts. Around February 2011 I realized I was having some vision issues nothing major it would just dim. Every so often and mainly only my left eye. I finally decided to see my PCM (primary care manager) who referred me to opthamology who then referred me to neurology who then referred me to nueropthamology and for an MRI. Long story short they diagnosed me with having optic neuritis and having a lesion on my brain and I got to hear the dreaded words in June 2011. We believe you have multiple sclerosis. I froze. My husband was 5 hours away in recruiting school and it was me and George. I couldn't think about anything. I went home and cried. I was scared. I woke up the next morning and said I need to be with my husband. I want a hug so within one hour I arranged dog care for my pups and was packed and on the road, I even took dirty laundry. I figured I'd do laundry their. I didn't even tell Robert I was coming he had called and asked what I was doing and I said looking for a McDonald in Tallahassee. He asked why and I said I needed a hug. So I went and got it. While visiting him my feet started hurting a lot. I went back to my PCM who told me tendinitis. We have since moved and bought a home. My husband is on shore duty recruiting. I have started the journey again of seeing drs to get my final diagnosis and start treatment. My new PCM has sent in for my neurologist who I meet this month and has already said she's convinced it's ms without even seeing my record and the pain in my feet is not tendinitis but is in fact neurological. MS affects many people differently. No two are the same. Right now my symptoms include pain in my feet which goes along with some numbness and loss of tempeture. I also still suffer some vision problems only in my left eye and I get very very dizzy. I usually take Dramamine everyday to keep myself from getting sick. I also get fatigued more easily. My symptoms are generally worse if im hot tired or stressed. Everyday is different for me. Some days im fine and can clean like crazy other days I can hardly get up without being sick. I dont have a car and even if I did driving would be out of the question. My husband is amazing and does a great job taking care of me and taking
me where I need or want to go. He helps pick up slack in the house and George is very understanding. He knows mommy has a boo boo in her head and he's gonna cut it off and put a baindaid on it then put my head back together. It's very cute to hear him say it. I decided to make a blog just so I have an outlet. Somewhere I can talk about what I'm going through. I know their are other people who have this disease and can relate. The drs are saying their 90% sure it is ms. I will have more tests but with the research I have done I'm sure this is what I am fighting. I will not let ms run my life I run my life! So that is my story from The begining. I will have many chapters to add and a story has to start somewhere and this is where mine does